Rating: 9/10
Introduction
The self-help industry is booming right now, and as a result, there are endless options for books on how to improve your life. It can however be difficult to find books of real value in a sea of mediocre books.
But once in a while, a book comes along that is not only worth your time but has the potential to radically change your life for the better. In my opinion, Psycho-Cybernetics is such a book.
It's a great read for anyone who is serious about improving their life circumstances. With a focus on practical exercises, this is not just a book to be read but to be studied and applied.
Psycho-Cybernetics is the OG of self-help books. It was written by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon in the mid-1950s. It’s often credited as the book that laid the foundation for the self-help movement as we know it today.
The idea for Psycho-Cybernetics started in Maltz's plastic surgeon practice, where he noticed something interesting. He noted that after cosmetic surgery the patient's internal state did not change along with their new improved look. Many people, that previously had deformed faces or unattractive physical features, still held the same internal image of themselves as before the surgery.
Throughout Maltz's career, he saw the same patterns repeatedly. As someone without formal training in psychology, he had some rather unique insights. He would later compile these insights into a theory he called Psycho-Cybernetics. He got the word cybernetics from communication science, which describes the automatic control system in both machines and living things.
Your Self-Image is Shaped by Your Experience
There are many great concepts in Psycho-Cybernetics, but the core concept is that of self-image and how it determines the outcomes of one's life.
Self-image is to a large degree shaped by our experiences. At a young age, we're programmed by our environment through our experiences and by observing our parents and the people around us. The word programming is used deliberately here. Like a machine is programmed to operate somewhat automatically, so are our minds.
A habit is an example of mental programming. Habits are of great significance in our lives as they will determine how we behave in our daily life. Good habits will keep us moving toward success while bad habits will hinder progress and have the opposite effect.
Maltz argues that habits stem from our self-image. For example, if you have a positive self-image of someone who is professional and wealthy, you will make sure to clean and groom yourself to make yourself presentable first thing in the morning. You might exercise and eat clean to maintain your energy levels throughout your busy work day.
All these things will be done more or less without much thought as they correspond to your character.
The opposite is also true. If your self-image is negative, your habits will reflect that as well. This type of person might wake up late, eat an unhealthy breakfast or skip brushing their teeth because that is in accordance with their self-image.
This explains why many techniques designed to change your life fail. Often these techniques do not address the root cause, which in many cases can be linked to your self-image.
So how does one change their self-image?
Luckily, Maltz not only gives us the theory, but he also gives practical exercises we can start using straight away.
Practical Application
Write down your daily habits. Ask yourself: “Are these habits pushing me towards my goals or are they NOT in alignment with who I’m trying to become?”
Remove or alter at least one of your habits to better align with your overarching goal.
You Are Built to Succeed
The first concept he brings up is what he calls the success mechanism.
Within everyone, there is a success mechanism as well as a failure mechanism. Most people are familiar with the latter, but few utilize the former.
How do birds know where to fly during winter? It's not through experience. Even newborn birds can navigate their way to warmer climates during winter.
The answer is, they are programmed to behave a certain way. Just like a deer can walk immediately after birth, it was programmed to do so. This is the success mechanism in action.
Humans also follow a programmed mental script but ours is less rigid and can be shaped according to our own desires.
The privilege we humans have, that animals do not have, is the ability to choose our own goals. By selecting a definite goal, we are using our success mechanism for the attainment of something we desire. Just like a heat-seeking missile, we have now given our minds a goal to work towards.
By constantly affirming our goals, we are essentially programming ourselves. When our goal has been reaffirmed sufficiently, it will reach the level of the subconscious mind. When the goal is accepted by the subconscious it becomes part of our persona and we start to act automatically in accordance with that persona.
Practical Application
Spend one whole day observing your thoughts. Make it your number-one priority that day. Don’t try to change your thoughts, just observe them.
At the end of the day, sit down in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Close your eyes and relax. Try to recall as many thoughts as you can. Were they positive or mostly negative? Did you notice any thought patterns that kept coming up?
Thoughts are the seeds that with time bloom into action and habits. The habits will determine our character which in turn will determine the outcome of our life.
This exercise alone can be eye-opening and may be followed by other exercises to alter our thought patterns (which won’t be described here as it is a very big and complex topic).
Real Change Takes Time
Great change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, consistency, and a willingness to change. The best way to approach change is to set a big goal to strive towards and then break it down into actionable steps, or smaller goals.
By breaking down your big goals into smaller goals, the larger goal seems more attainable. It must be a goal you think you can achieve. By focusing on this sub-goal continuously you activate your success mechanism.
Don’t focus too much on HOW you will obtain the goal, but just keep focusing on the goal. Also, keep in mind what type of person you would need to become to fulfill the goal. You can ask yourself: “What would the type of person I’m trying to become do in this situation?”
Take action that you think will get you to your goal. Correct your actions as you go. You will most likely not get things right on the first attempt. This is part of the process. Keep focusing on the end goal no matter what and trust the process.
If done correctly you will have new ideas and insights as you work towards your goals. Act on those insights and see where it takes you. Slowly you will change your habits to optimize the path toward your goal. The important thing is to start with something small that you believe you can achieve.
Practical Application
Set one big goal. Let’s use the goal of doubling your salary as an example.
Work your way backward and break down your goal into actionable steps. Do you need to get a new job? Is it possible to even double your salary in the current field you are working in? Do you need to create a side income?
When you have broken down your goal into actionable steps, you should now have a list of things you can start doing right now. Don’t wait, start taking the first step toward your goal right now.
Why Most People Never Get What They Want
The most powerful tool we possess is our ability to imagine things and events. Our imagination will either work for us or against us.
If you keep imagining negative outcomes, you will get more of that. I'm sure we all have friends or family (or maybe you have experienced this) who just seem to attract bad luck. Likewise, maybe you have observed people where the opposite is true. Good things just keep coming their way!
Your subconscious mind, which is your control center for automatic actions, doesn’t distinguish between negative or positive thoughts. If it keeps seeing the same thought patterns repeatedly, it will accept them as truth.
A single thought won’t change your subconscious mind (thank god), but thoughts that are repeated over and over again with conviction eventually will.
That's why it's so important to observe your thoughts. Most people never stop to analyze their thoughts and just go about their day without much self-reflection.
From personal experience, I can confirm that true change in one's life starts at the level of the mind. Fix your mind, and the right actions will follow. It may sound simple, but changing thought patterns are extremely difficult and require a lot of energy. But it’s worth it!
Practical Application
Spend at least 10 minutes (preferably twice a day) visualizing a scene where your first smaller goal is realized.
A lot of teachers suggest that you visualize your big goal every day. I personally disagree and would argue that your subconscious will reject any mental images that seem too far away from the current reality.
To make it easier to obtain your goal, visualize you obtaining the first sub-goal. Paint a scene of what it would look like and feel like when you have accomplished your goal.
Visualizing your goals like this might seem trivial, but from personal experience, I can tell you it makes a big difference.
Summary
Many self-help books (especially those dealing with the law of attraction) appeal to our laziness. They offer quick solutions to difficult problems.
Books like Psycho-Cybernetics offer practical and realistic solutions for changing your life. The reason most self-help advice does not work is that they often overlook a major source of many issues, your self-image.
A great insight to have is, everything in your life is just as it should be, simply because you are acting in accordance with how you see yourself.
Changing yourself for the better takes dedicated work for long periods of time. Psycho-Cybernetics offers a practical and proven way to make a real change in your life.
Here are my 4 main takeaways from the book:
- Your self-image will determine what kind of life you will live. If you want real change in your life, you need to work on your self-image
- To reach your goals, you need to set clearly defined goals and break them down into actionable steps you can start working on right now.
- Your imagination is the most powerful tool available to you. Use it to visualize your desired outcome. This is not a substitute for taking action but should be done along with taking consistent action.
- You become what you do repeatedly. Learn to identify the habits that serve you and remove any habits that hinder your progress.
Have you read Psycho-Cybernetics? More importantly, have you tried the exercises in the book? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
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