The personal development niche is bigger than ever, with an estimated 10 million self-help books sold every year. But despite its popularity few people actually make real lasting changes in their lives.
There are many traps, pitfalls, and setbacks along the way. I have experienced many of these traps myself. I spent years feeling frustrated by the lack of results.
Feeling trapped and upset by the lack of progress, I decided to do anything it would take to improve my life circumstances. Through trail and error, and great mentors I finally started to see real change in my life.
Along the way, I identified three main problems that held me back. In this article I will tell you about how I overcame these problems and give some practical steps the get you moving forward.
Problem #1: Theory without Action
Kicking off with the most insidious problems of them all, and that is being stuck in your head.
Reading is a great activity. It sure beats mindlessly watching Netflix. However, there is a big problem with reading self-help books.
You might feel as if you are making progress when you read books. You feel as if you possess knowledge that the average person doesn’t have. This can build a false sense of confidence.
What you know only plays a small part in the bigger picture. It’s how you apply that knowledge that matters.
In fact, I would go as far as to say, real-world feedback after taking action is far more valuable than anything you could ever learn from a book.
Use books as an opportunity to learn from other people. What worked for them, and what didn't work?
Remember, true wisdom comes from taking action and learning from your mistakes. Read, but only do so with the intent to apply it in the real world.
Challenge
If you are reading or are about start reading a self-help book, choose a chapter. Then distill down what is being said and translate it into an action.
If this requires multiple action steps, write down each step you need to take, and in what order. Then, complete the first action as soon as possible (preferably straight away).
Do not continue reading the book until you have completed the action steps.
Problem #2: Unrealistic Expectations
We live in a world where instant gratification is promised everywhere. The truth is, the best things in life requires consistent work over a long period of time.
Overnight successes we are often told about, are the results of years, sometimes decades, of hard work.
This paints a misleading picture of reality. Yes, there are people that make it big very quickly. But these people are an abnormality, and usually, their success is not very long-lasting.
Think of it like building a skyscraper. If the foundation isn’t solid, the whole structure will come crashing down as more floors are being added.
See self-improvement as a marathon, not a sprint to the finish line.
Challenge
Pick an aspect of your life you want to improve. Write down WHY you want to improve this area of your life.
If you have a strong why you will be able to battle through any resistance or doubt you will encounter.
This challenge will tie into the last challenge, but for now, just pick one area of your life as your main focus.
Problem #3: Lack of Focus
Lack of focus is a modern-day problem most of us are dealing with in one way or another.
In the context of self-improvement, it’s the desire to improve everything at once. Dating, making money, improving fitness, or getting a better job. Why only choose to improve in one or two areas of life?
We only have 24 hours a day. On top of that, we have limited amounts of energy, willpower, and focus to use daily.
Therefore, you must prioritise what aspects of life you want to improve. Only focus on three major aspects of your life at a time. These could be, health, career, and social life for example.
The three major categories can then be subdivided into three subcategories.
For example, health can be subdivided into eating a healthy diet, going to the gym regularly, and running in the morning.
Challenge
Pick three main areas of your life you wish to work on. Then subdivide these three main categories into three subcategories.
Remember, if you are not consistent and change categories every few months, you will not see any progress.
As with challenge two, write down why you want to improve in these areas. Write them down and place them where you can see your note daily.
Another quick tip that might be useful:
If you struggle to develop new habits, accountability is a great way of forcing you to take action.
For example, if you want to go to the gym, get a personal trainer. It makes it harder to skip a gym session knowing someone is waiting for you at the gym.
Summary
Wanting to improve your life is a great and worthy goal. However, making real lasting changes is hard and takes time.
You see results by taking action and learning from real-life feedback, not just from reading.
Lasting results don't happen by accident. Make a plan, execute and make it happen. If you don’t see results, adjust and repeat the process.
What’s your experience with self-improvement? What were your biggest setbacks and how did you overcome them?
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